Overcome your fears and Lead!

Overcome your fears and Lead!

Book Review

 

Sheryl Sandberg.

Lean In: Women, Work and Will to Lead

Pan MacMillan India Pvt. Ltd. London, 2006. pp. 147, Rs. 248 (Flipkart)

Just when women – centric books were fading away (apart from those on the repetitive topics like fitness and health or relationships); we are treated to this wonderful piece of work by none other than the high profile COO of Facebook, Sheryl Sandberg. This book is a sheer piece of inspiration for women around the world.

Sandberg’s Lean In finds its foundation in her world famous exhilarating TEDTalk of 2010 where she spoke about how women are shying away from being leaders in their chosen field not only due to family pressure and responsibilities but their inner turmoil and confidence to manage high-pressure jobs.

Unlike usual speculation as this being just one of those books trying to hammer feminist ideas and written by a privileged female (that’s probably not even 1% of the world’s population), the approach and treatment of the subject is very honest, witty and straightforward. Sheryl feels that a lot of women are not stepping up to realize their full potential. Though a certain amount of onus goes to our social norms and expectations, it is the women who are holding themselves back. Where men attribute success to individual ability and skills, women feel it is sheer luck or other external factor and perhaps becoming successful and assertive force is an unfeminine quality. Men are more likely to grab an opportunity while women spend time trying to overcome their apprehension of being able to perform and excel. These are the deep seated fears which Sheryl provokes women to address and overcome.

She persuades women to “Lean In” taking charge to achieve their goals. Most importantly she tries to inspire them to dream and dream big instead of making second grade choices/ compromise and remaining satisfied with their middle-rung positions. She feels that there is a lack of adequate representation of feminine gender in positions of power and believes that a lot is to do with women themselves than circumstances and opportunities. There is a serious need of female icons and women in important positions to motivate other women to step-up.

In this candid book, Sheryl shares her own issues and fears which she faced and have overcome through the years. There is data and analysis, anecdotes and examples as well as suggestions on how to face situations and come out successful. This is not just another self-help book. It is more about introspection and fighting our inner demons, overcoming our mental blockages and impediments.

There are some very pertinent observations and propositions. The author observes that the problems start from the beginning of a women’s career when she starts worrying about marriage, children, managing the work-life balance. She advises women to become more ambitious and to embrace success as a positive desirable trait. More women can make it to the top if they are mentored and helped to sail through the formative years of her career. Yes, institutions and companies have to do more (and they have failed to create the right ecosystem) but reforms have to start from within the families. As more men come forward to share household responsibilities, women will get the impetus to excel in the workplace. There will be difficult moments and challenges but if we dare to “Lean In” at that instant instead of becoming weak and irresolute, we will be able to realize our goals and dreams. Women must start with believing in their own abilities and exude a body language that speaks confidence and a go-getter attitude instead of displaying a shy and insecure demeanor. At no point does the author talk about men women equality, it is more about sharing, leaning in and stepping up. The gist of the book can be derived from Sheryl’s famous question – “What you would do if you were not afraid?”

This book is ideal for women of all age-groups to read and get encouraged or inspire other females in their families and friend circles. It is a delightful read and leaves a lingering sense of hope.

It is heart rendering that women at her position are using that pedestal to speak out and inspire an entire generation of women and girls to reach for the stars. We require more women at the top, to become role models as Sheryl suggests. We need real life examples to emulate.

Sheryl’s successful and glowing track record is an inspiration in itself. She started off as a Research Assistant in World Bank after graduating as the top student in Economics from Harvard College. She earned her Master’s in Business Administration from Harvard Business School with highest distinction. Having worked as a management consultant at McKinsey, Sheryl was the Chief of Staff to United States Secretary of Treasury. Moving on to Google, she was the Vice President of Global Online Sales and Operations when Marc Zuckerberg snagged her for Facebook in March 2008. In 2012, she became a part of the board of directors in Facebook. She has been famously ranked as the 50 Most Powerful Women in Business by Fortune magazine for four consecutive years from 2007. Time magazine has ranked her as 100 Most Influential People in 2012. Today, she is stays in North California with her husband and two children.

Curbing RAPE

The recent horrendous gang rape incident in Delhi has again brought people together in large groups. There are protests across the country. It is really heartening to see so many people coming together and raising ruckus in Raisina Hill. It reminds me of the mass gathering during Anna Hazare’s round one. Sadly, all this enthusiasm will die down soon.

In the last couple of days, this is all I have been seeing in the papers, blogs and all TV channels are discussing it non-stop. I am however amazed at the tangential thoughts of various people and shallow oratory approach to this horrific deep issue. Capital punishment? Yes, why not! But that will only happen when we manage to convict people. That will happen when we are able to establish a crime has been committed. That will happen when a suspect is caught and the evidence is handled properly. That will happen when the courts give dates. That will happen when the victim is able to lodge a FIR. A solution to this problem will not appear with the swish of Dumbledore’s wand.

Rape as an issue needs to be handled from a heterogeneous perspective.  We have to find a long term deterrent solution to curb these incidences. Yes, curb not eradicate because crimes will still be committed. The aim should be to improve the statistics and lower the incidences, to make the society safer for women and children. What we need today is for various segments of the society, government and legal and enforcement agencies to come together to address the issue and find a lasting resounding answer not some stop gap arrangement or fire fighting in the short term.

There are few broad areas where a lot of attention is needed.

1.     Police Force

a.       We need more women cops at all levels. Every police station should have atleast 30% women force and officers of both genders at each rank. These women should be in the station 24 X 7 so that women can enter any police station without any fear or apprehension. Filing FIR should be a straight forward process. No questions asked, no bias, no judgment. Everything has to come out of detailed investigation.

b.      There has to be hard core accountability for the police force. Today, police is often accused of sloppy handling of cases or insensitivity towards complainants. There is a need for a mechanism where even the police persons should be aware that a sword dangles around their neck for not acting “appropriately”.

c.       These people need long term focused sensitivity training. They should learn to do their jobs and not judge people on the basis of caste, creed, gender, sexual orientation, social position or the clothes they wear. This is a difficult proposition because it is deeply affected by point 6 – culture.

d.      Making the job prestigious. Joining the police force should be a strong prerogative of our younger generation. We need more educated people in various ranks of the police force. People who are intent on making a positive difference. The entire recruitment, promotion, career path etc need to be revamped. We have to modernize the force entirely.

2.      Science and Technology

a.       Forensics! Look at the technology that is being used in other countries. We need strong forensics personnel. Even the course offered in universities and colleges need to be revamped. How many police stations are equipped to handle swabs etc after a rape has been committed to secure vital evidence? How many technicians are available in each city to collect DNA samples and process them? How many laboratories exist in the country for such crimes?

b.      Technology like close circuit cameras etc should be increased to improve the response time amongst the police force as well as crime scene technicians or specialists.

c.       Vehicles also need tracking system to help in detection in case of a crime. There is technology available, only it needs to be more accessible and cost – effective.

d.      Regular audits should be done to check adherence to protocol and effectiveness of the process. Fire drill is not the only thing. Preparedness to respond to a rape crime can also be a regular drill.

e.       People should be made aware how easily they can be caught if they have committed a crime. It is a huge deterrent.

3.     Legal Framework

a.       Capital punishment or death is not a solution. Punishment should be commensurate to the crime. A rape victim does not die physically; she suffers her pain every living day of the rest of her life. The equivalent punishment is lifelong (till death) incarceration in solitary confinement and no reprieve, no pleas, absolutely nothing! Chemical castration is also an alternative and the convicted criminal should be publicly identified through media. The records of such people should be made available in public through directories. Everywhere the person goes; people should be able to identify him (them).

b.      Government has to work on changing the laws and making them more effective. The country is still clinging on to century old laws and making random amendments. It is time for total revamp!

c.       The focus should be on fast track handling of these cases on highest priority (other than terrorism) and immediate punishment. The laws should be straight forward and clear. The punishment should be exemplary. How many people would go to Saudi Arabia and commit adultery or carry drugs?

d.      The price that one has to pay for raping another individual should be publicly announced and notified. Every person in this country should be aware of their rights and punishment. There has to be strong incentive for the enforcers for successfully closing legitimate cases in record time.

e.       Most important is that people should know that they WILL be caught if they commit a crime and then they WILL have to pay a hard price. Criminals in this country should be hunted down and punished with public declaration of their fate.

4.     Psychological Counseling

a.       There is a very negative attitude in our country towards counseling. It is looked down upon and people never wish to speak about it in the open. There are very little avenue for people to make use of these specialized services.

b.      We need support groups. These are the networks which allow victims to open up and speak, reduce their pain and learn how to take control of their lives and achieve. These groups can help embed the victims back into the society with renewed purpose and drive their ambitions.

c.       Counseling should be available for people in general and it should be encouraged. Many crimes can be averted if people get timely help and medical intervention to handle their condition.

5.     Safety

a.       Many crimes occur with women traveling alone at night. Companies should have more secure transport facilities for their employees. Human resource teams should work with employees to understand their issues, group them and find appropriate solutions.

b.      More women cab drivers from airports and railway stations would be a boon. There is a wide opportunity for entrepreneurs to focus into this segment.

c.       Youngsters, college going crowd, women in general need to build their own safety net. There is no harm in going to a party, but try to return in groups instead of alone. Let friends and family know about whereabouts. Yes, it is the job of the law enforcers and government to protect us, but we also need to take initiative to address the issue. Everyone needs to pitch in. 

6.     Society and Cultural Transformation

a.       The toughest and the most important area that needs attention is social and cultural transformation. Our attitude towards a patriarchal society where men are always alpha is the root cause of this rape issue. Unless people in our homes change their attitude and approach, much of the above changes will never occur. We have to transform our thought process and evolve.

b.      The burgeoning population of this nation is the biggest cause. The number of law enforcers per thousand is very less. It is also difficult to detect criminals in such huge and migrant population where we do not have proper identification system. Look at the state of the UID project.

c.       Education, employment and economic development are other areas which will have long term impact in curbing the issue of rape. As society progresses, people become more adherent to laws and social conformation. With education and jobs, they have better purpose in life rather than engaging in such violent thoughts and action.

d.      Quite often there are instances of people in important position making comments about women instigating men to behave in the manner they do because of the way they carry themselves or the clothes that they wear. We have become too prejudiced and judgmental. Everything has to fit in a template that appeals us. In which universe is a saree conservative to a pair of jeans and t-shirt? What we fail to understand is that no woman wants such heinous behavior against them under any circumstances!  

Simply gathering large masses and demonstrating is not going to solve the issue. People need to introspect and understand the causes, the enablers. Rapes will continue to be committed unless dealt with gravely. It is time for all walks of the society to wake up and act intelligently. The woman who is getting raped is not a statistic or someone we just read in the papers. You never know when it can hit closer to home.

It is going to be a long drawn prospect to devise a solution but steps have to be initiated rapidly. Every solution can be broken down into three parts – short, medium and long term. Let us start with the short term solutions. Make small achievements, reach small milestones. Create a sense of direction for people. It is time for action and not careless remarks on talk shows!

Maybe, for 2014 elections, people will look for every party’s actionable plan towards curbing rape in the election manifesto. We are too tied up with food, water, housing, jobs and electricity. There are other important matters that need attention. But then again first we have to vote responsibly! And now I am deviating and that is a different discussion altogether! Be safe!